Spider

So Bayli had a golf lesson yesterday which meant that I sat and watched, waited, read some of my book, had to tie a lasso, got lassoed, etc. etc. Normal golf lesson watching stuff. Oh you guys don't get lassoed while at a golf course? Well you need to come out to Tennessee Hills Golf Course in Pikeville, Tennessee and get lassoed! We go to church with the owners and their little boy is all boy and was in the lassoing (sp?) mood yesterday. I said whatever just don't hit my nose. Anyway I have digressed. Fast forward to lesson over and we are now in the car going home. Bayli is very scared of spiders and bugs FYI. She says "MOM YOU HAVE A SPIDER ON YOUR HEAD!!!!!!". I said "So, knock it off." She reaches over while I am driving flips my visor down and slides open the mirror. ????? Really? Meanwhile the spider could have eaten my face off, but ok. I said "Bay I can't use the mirror while driving so I said get it off my head or something to the effect of just knock it off my head." I guess the tone got it across to her and she knocked me in the head and then yells because the spider has went under the center console only to reappear a few minutes later when I became world's worst mom and forced her to smush it by herself. She'll be better off for it or in therapy. Either way she's a winner.

Post surgery update

It's been a while since I posted last. It has been a busy summer and then I had to have surgery on my nose for 3 defects. So looking forward to being able to breathe again!! Bayli told the youth group and who knows else that I was having a nose job. She thought it was hilarious, which it is, and now I don't know how many people that don't really know me think I actually had a nose job. Oh well, there are worse things. She also saw me asleep on the couch and told Lealan that I look so tiny without my attitude. Where does she get this stuff. I ain't got an attitude! :) Not a bad one anyways. It's just seems that when you're my size you have to be a little aggressive to be heard, believed, not taken for granted, pushed around, blah blah blah. I just make my wants and needs heard gently.

April Fools

Yeah I know I am behind, but it's been crazy with golf and everything. Bayli played a great joke on Lealan that I knew nothing about. She was very sneaky. He was getting home after we left that day so before we left she set him up. She taped the sprayer nozzle on the sink down so that when he went to wash his hands it would soak him with water. However, instead of a rubberband she used clear tape so it would be hard to detect. Sometimes she makes me so proud! Well I knew nothing of this and that morning my cell phone died so when I went to leave work I plugged it in the car and a voice mail came through from Lealan stating "Tell YOUR daughter I'm gonna kill her." and then a text message from Bayli asking if dad liked her surprises. I have no idea what is going on and I get to Linda's to pick her up and she is so excited. When we get home Lealan says he went to wash his hands and turned the water on and it sprayed all over him and that he jumped out of the way like that would turn it off. He said it sprayed everywhere since he had a hard time figuring out what was happening since our very clever daughter used clear tape. He said he couldn't be mad at her because it is something he would have done himself.

Me and my girl

That's my baby girl on the right. :( It's bitter sweet that she is growing up so fast. She is now within 2 inches of being the same height as me and LOVES it. She is all the time coming off with some midget or short joke to which I reply that she shouldn't make those because she is shorter than me. She laughs and replies that unlike me she is still growing. Really, how did I raise such a smart aleck child who relishes aggravating her mother. Oh, Bayli I am so not ready for you to grow up quite yet.

Strut your stuff!

Check out the fabulous Jessica Simpson heels I now proudly call my own! To unfortunately quote Paris Hilton "That's Hot". I love heels as you all know and these are some of the best I have ever owned. I have been looking through my closet just tryig to find clothes that I can wear my shoes with. I guess you could say I was starting from the bottom up dressing my self. You have to start somewhere, so why not with the shoes. They really make you strut your stuff and walk tall and proud. :)

Golf Cart

Yesterday was Bayli's 2nd golf match. They won their first match on Tuesday, which was a home match! Yeah go team! We traveled to Cleveland yesterday to play Cleveland and Spring City. They have a big ol' nice course and fancy smancy country club. THe kids very very impressed with the huge course, pool, tennis courts, monster club house considering ours is not so large or has the other amenities, but it is a good course and we appreciate them allowing the kids to practice there for free. The Dayton Golf & Country Club is very good to our kids. I believe we won the 2nd match as well. I do well to keep up with where the ball goes when the hit it much less score, rules, etc. etc. I rented a golf cart because we were only going to play 5 holes and that meant a long walk back for the kids with their clubs after already walking the holes they played. That way when they were through we could just pile them and their clubs on the cart and motor on back to the clubhouse. That was my intentions at least. Who knew that my golf cart would die on the 5th hole. My daughter found this hilarious. She was laughing and saying I broke the cart, wait til dad hears this, yadda yadda. Smart mouth kid. But when I pointed out that she was going to have to lug herself and all her effects back on foot she shushed up real quick:) Even with that happening we had a wonderful time. I am so glad she is enjoying playing, but I'm pretty sure the kids enjoyed Cici's Pizza just as much after the match as the actual match. When we left it was like a pizza graveyard. I'm pretty sure I saw a tumbleweed blow across the buffet.

Fore!

So after 4 days of golf tryouts Bayli made the Dayton City School golf team. She was so very excited and we were so proud. So from looking at the calendar they gave us we will either be practicing golf or playing matches everyday for the rest of my life. Well, maybe not the rest of my life, but at least for the next couple of months. That's okay though, she enjoys it and they will have a lot of fun. Who knows maybe she will continue to play through the rest of her school and maybe get a scholarship. That would be fantastic because college is EXPENSIVE and it looks like she may be going forever for her degree in forensic anthropolgy.

Bojangles

We were talking about the Bojangles restaurant the other day and how good their biscuits are and Lealan told us a story about when him and his friend Danny went into a Bojangles. Well Lealan is 6'4" about 230 lbs and his friend Danny is even bigger than he is and together they make quite a pair. Now Bojangles has all you can eat chicken on Wednesday nights so keep that in mind. One night in Charlotte, which happened to be a Wednesday, him and Danny walk into Bojangles. He said they just had walked in the door and the guy behind the counter hollers to the back of the kitchen to drop some chicken. I laughed so hard because I know the two of them together look like they could eat plenty, but for the guy to actually holler it where they could hear it. I guess he's lucky they are nice guys.

Leftovers

Last Tuesday night I made taco stuff for dinner. That's what we call this skillet of turkey burger, refried beans, tomatos and green chiles that you put over tostitos with lettuce, sour cream, tomatos, jalapenos, cheese, etc etc. Me and Lealan love it, Bayli not so much. Well we had a big skillet of it and we ate it Tuesday and had it for leftovers on Wednesday. Thursday evening Bayli asked what we were having for dinner and I told her there was a little bit of taco stuff left that she could eat. She looked at me and said It's been 3 days it's probably not good, you know it ain't Jesus and then she walked off. Me and Lealan were standing there trying to figure out how she equated Jesus spending 3 days in the tomb with leftovers. She is right however that it ain't Jesus and no matter how good it is it's nowhere near as good as what we are going to have in Heaven!

No sleep

Having a puppy is a lot like having a baby without the diapers. Less sleep, whining, and cleaning up pee and poop. Also so much fun and love. Cecil is so sweet and when he looks at you with those sad eyes it's pitiful. He is really doing well though with his potty breaks. He has had a few accidents, but he is only about 8 weeks old so it will be a little while before he has it all down pat. He is doing pretty well with puppy pads and has went to the front door a few times needing to go out. When he goes out he knows what to do and then he is ready to go right back in. He is supposed to be inside until winter is over, but I heard my husband who isn't near the animal lover that I am say that he didn't know if he would be able to go outside alone for extended periods because his legs are so short and he is hefty he wouldn't be able to get away from anything. However, from the way he stands at the front door and barks at Kenny (outside cat) he would probably do ok. He barks at the out side cat and the inside cat, Princess scares him. But then Princess smacks him and Kenny doesn't. I do see a big puppy paw in Princess's future holding her down before long:)

Cecil is here!

Our new puppy Cecil is finally here at home with us! He is adorable. Like I said before he is half basset hound, half english bulldog. He was super sweet yesterday, but I know there are going to be lots of running back an forth outside with him to get him housebroken and some sleepless nights. It's like having a baby again. Eat, poop, sleep, eat poop, poop, sleep. But he is oh so very cute. Doesn't that face just make you want to give him whatever he wants and to forgive all peeing in the floor! Doesn't it just break your heart and make it melt?

Hallelujah!

Last night youth group was wonderful!!!! Jill teaches the class and I just assist, you know crowd control. She was wonderful last night. The lesson was on Jericho and the walls falling down. It took some turns from the original lesson, but God always knows where to go and what words to put in our mouths. We had 12 kids last night, some of which were there for the first time. 9, count'em nine got saved or rededicated!!!! God is good! It was awesome to watch and be there to see it happen.

Mega ice cream

Last night me and my hubby fixed ourselves some ice cream. I was sitting there eating mine when I noticed he was staring at me. I said what, he asked if I was enjoying my mega bowl of ice cream. Such a smartie pants. I looked at him and said it only looks so big because there is a cookie under it. I don't think I found that answer quite as funny as he did. But the cookie did make my ice cream look mega!

Praise the Food

So as you know I have been a little out of sorts the last few days. Really I'm fine noggin wise I just want to blame my little mishaps on the bruise on my head. It makes me feel better, like I'm not going senile. Just humor me, ok? Okay. So last night we got dinner out of the oven, which happened to be the very yummy baked spaghetti, I told Bayli to "Praise the Food". She looked at me funny and my smart aleck husband turned to the spaghetti and bowed a little and said "Oh hail the yummy baked spaghetti.". I told them to just hush up and BLESS the food so we could eat.

Sneezing

I highly suggest no sneezing when you have a broken nose and ribs. Trust me on this, you do not want to do it! Of course I know you can't control it, but I sure wich you could. One hand covers your broken nose sneeze while the other goes for the ribs, not that it helped, but it's an automatic reaction.

Broken

We had lots and lots of beautiful snow come Monday morning. So we all bundled up and rode the 4 wheeler over to meet Jill and Aaron to play. We had the 4 wheelers, sleds, and intertube and we had a blast!!! We had been playing for a while and Bayli asked me to ride the tube with her again. She sets down in it and I sit beside her with my leg thrown over her. Lealan is pulling us for a while and then for some reason the tube goes crazy and I fly into a parked 4 wheeler. I'm glad Bayli was under me so she didn't get hurt. That ended our playing since I had to go to the ER, but it was so much fun while it lasted. I ended up with a big knot on my forehead, broken nose, possibly cracked ribs, bruised knee and leg, whiplash, and a bruised arm. I was really blessed that God was watching out for me and for keeping Bayli safe. I'll take whatever I got as long as she didn't get hurt. I have to go see an ENT about my nose since I broke it when I was younger. I will be sore for a while, but you can't keep me down for long!

Stories

I thought I might try telling some of my childhood stories on here. Bayli loves hearing them over and over and this seems easier than repeating myself. She can ask I can just say go read the blog :-) I will try to start at the beginning, but don't get mad if I skip around. I will start adding in some Bayli stories too!

Once upon a time on February 24, 1978 the world was blessed with one, Brandi Renee (shout out to Aunt Tammy for the Renee portion.) Swafford. Born about 3 weeks late, but hey I’m on my own time. Dad being the funny guy that he is came out to the waiting room and told everyone it’s a boy with (holding his hands a little apart) a thing this long! You just have to know my dad. He's always got something funny to say. He then revised it to it’s a girl with hair this long. See, where this came from was, the length of my hair and the way it grew, okay still grows. Yes, I am revealing my deep dark secret; I was born with a rat tail. For some odd reason my hair had grown like a “v” in the back so it sort of looked like a rat tail and it was long, like down between my shoulder blades long. It still wants to grow longer in the middle than the sides, but I have a wonderful hairdresser who takes care of me! Maybe I started the whole rat tail era, but thank God it ended! But enough about rat tails lets get back to the perfect child that has just been born. Those of my family members, and I know who you are, should quit laughing right this minute.